# Some words about the basic ideas of PHP

- Thread: https://externals.io/message/88937
- Original archive: https://news-web.php.net/php.internals/88937
- Started by Frank Meier on 2015-10-26T10:09:59+00:00
- Messages: 12
- Reply by email to internals@lists.php.net
- More for agents: search with https://externals.io/search.md?q={query} · JSON API at https://externals.io/api · documentation at https://externals.io/llms.txt

---

## #88937 — Frank Meier — 2015-10-26T10:09:59+00:00

URL: https://externals.io/message/88937#88937

Hi to all of you,

first I want to apologize for may bad English,

.. . .


I write because I feel that that the way how you see your own product PHP
is totally wrong. I do not mean with it that the construction of the
language is wrong.

Your basic aproach is wrong.

PHP is a server side programming language. That means that the most work
what PHP have to do is to be the boss of the data servers and handle the
data.

Create database or tables  or records,  edit,  delete and read and write
them.

And where is your fantastic programming language so incredible lousy that
me, I am since 35 years a database programmer, just shake my head???

Exact in this operations!!!

I know that it is for free and I can not tell you how much I value your
work on it, but  all of you, WAKE UP!!!!

You sent the handling of records from modern handling via recordsets back
to computer stone age. It is a  torture to use PHP without tools (and they
are lousy too) for database operations.


I can give you a example:

It is in PHP a lot of work to just read the next record in a table.

With ADO is it just nextrecord().

The PHP  way is a insult to the modern world of programming.

Maybe you should consider to write internal  functions for the record
handling which do take all the sql waste of time away  from the programmer
and create just short command words that the developer can use them.

This would be a "small step  for you but a  huge leap for mankind!".

And you would finally win the race  in the language battle.

I am sorry that I write it so harsh, but PHP is for me the definition of
server data handling and exact there you fail in a big way.

All the programmers around the world reinvent every time the wheel new?

Have this really to be?

In my opinion should exist  commands like:
recordnew(table)
recordread(id, table)
recordwrite(id, table)
recorddelete(id, table)
recordprev(currentrecord, table)
recordnext(currentrecord, table)

This is the minimum what I expect from a program language in the year 2015.

This should include already the ajax handling and all the other actions
that are needed to get or view or write the data.

It should also be included table locking and record locking, if needed.

And special  commands for reading multiple records for paginations.
And also for a easy  way to edit a record in this paginations set (page,
count) and write this  back to the MySQL database or whatever database is
used.

.. . .

You are so focused to make PHP better and better that you just forgot to
upgrade the basic commands.

A programmer in the year 2015 should not need to  fetch records and do this
with program code line by line. This was in the year 1982 the case
.. . .

It reminds me on hotels which always renovate the lobby but never the rooms
for the guests.

.. . .

I am  sorry  to be so critical,  but this was cooking me since long time.

I am database programmer  for international police organizations.

Please keep my name confident.


>
> Frank Liebl, GER
> KTTL - Royal Thai Police
> Federal Police, Headquarters
> Bangkok 10330, Phatumwan
> T H A I L A N D
> Phone: +66 90 243 7837
> Email: frankybkk@gmail.com
> Line: scoobeedo
> Facebook: scoobeedo cool
> Web: www.scoobeedo.com

---

## #88939 — Martin Keckeis — 2015-10-26T11:23:51+00:00

URL: https://externals.io/message/88937#88939 · In reply to: #88937

Hello Frank,


2015-10-26 11:09 GMT+01:00 Frank Meier <frankybkk@gmail.com>:

> Hi to all of you,
>
> first I want to apologize for may bad English,
>
> .. . .
>
>
> I write because I feel that that the way how you see your own product PHP
> is totally wrong. I do not mean with it that the construction of the
> language is wrong.
>
> Your basic aproach is wrong.
>
> PHP is a server side programming language. That means that the most work
> what PHP have to do is to be the boss of the data servers and handle the
> data.
>
> Create database or tables  or records,  edit,  delete and read and write
> them.
>
> And where is your fantastic programming language so incredible lousy that
> me, I am since 35 years a database programmer, just shake my head???
>
> Exact in this operations!!!
>
> I know that it is for free and I can not tell you how much I value your
> work on it, but  all of you, WAKE UP!!!!
>
> You sent the handling of records from modern handling via recordsets back
> to computer stone age. It is a  torture to use PHP without tools (and they
> are lousy too) for database operations.
>
>
> I can give you a example:
>
> It is in PHP a lot of work to just read the next record in a table.
>
> With ADO is it just nextrecord().
>
> The PHP  way is a insult to the modern world of programming.
>
> Maybe you should consider to write internal  functions for the record
> handling which do take all the sql waste of time away  from the programmer
> and create just short command words that the developer can use them.
>
> This would be a "small step  for you but a  huge leap for mankind!".
>
> And you would finally win the race  in the language battle.
>
> I am sorry that I write it so harsh, but PHP is for me the definition of
> server data handling and exact there you fail in a big way.
>
> All the programmers around the world reinvent every time the wheel new?
>
> Have this really to be?
>
> In my opinion should exist  commands like:
> recordnew(table)
> recordread(id, table)
> recordwrite(id, table)
> recorddelete(id, table)
> recordprev(currentrecord, table)
> recordnext(currentrecord, table)
>
> This is the minimum what I expect from a program language in the year 2015.
>
> This should include already the ajax handling and all the other actions
> that are needed to get or view or write the data.
>
> It should also be included table locking and record locking, if needed.
>
> And special  commands for reading multiple records for paginations.
> And also for a easy  way to edit a record in this paginations set (page,
> count) and write this  back to the MySQL database or whatever database is
> used.
>
> .. . .
>
> You are so focused to make PHP better and better that you just forgot to
> upgrade the basic commands.
>
> A programmer in the year 2015 should not need to  fetch records and do this
> with program code line by line. This was in the year 1982 the case
> .. . .
>
> It reminds me on hotels which always renovate the lobby but never the rooms
> for the guests.
>
> .. . .
>
> I am  sorry  to be so critical,  but this was cooking me since long time.
>
> I am database programmer  for international police organizations.
>
> Please keep my name confident.
>
>
> > […]
>

It seems that you did not really invested much time before writing this.

PHP is the basic language, from which ONLY ONE PART is database handling...
There are many frameworks/libraries around which do those jobs well.

https://packagist.org/search/?q=database
https://packagist.org/search/?q=orm

Best regards
Martin

---

## #88940 — Benjamin Eberlei — 2015-10-26T11:30:23+00:00

URL: https://externals.io/message/88937#88940 · In reply to: #88937

> Hi to all of you,
>
> first I want to apologize for may bad English,
>
> .. . .
>
>
> I write because I feel that that the way how you see your own product PHP
> is totally wrong. I do not mean with it that the construction of the
> language is wrong.
>
> Your basic aproach is wrong.
>
> PHP is a server side programming language. That means that the most work
> what PHP have to do is to be the boss of the data servers and handle the
> data.
>
> Create database or tables  or records,  edit,  delete and read and write
> them.
>
> And where is your fantastic programming language so incredible lousy that
> me, I am since 35 years a database programmer, just shake my head???
>
> Exact in this operations!!!
>
> I know that it is for free and I can not tell you how much I value your
> work on it, but  all of you, WAKE UP!!!!
>
> You sent the handling of records from modern handling via recordsets back
> to computer stone age. It is a  torture to use PHP without tools (and they
> are lousy too) for database operations.
>
>
> I can give you a example:
>
> It is in PHP a lot of work to just read the next record in a table.
>
> With ADO is it just nextrecord().
>
> The PHP  way is a insult to the modern world of programming.
>
> Maybe you should consider to write internal  functions for the record
> handling which do take all the sql waste of time away  from the programmer
> and create just short command words that the developer can use them.
>
> This would be a "small step  for you but a  huge leap for mankind!".
>
> And you would finally win the race  in the language battle.
>
> I am sorry that I write it so harsh, but PHP is for me the definition of
> server data handling and exact there you fail in a big way.
>
> All the programmers around the world reinvent every time the wheel new?
>
> Have this really to be?
>
> In my opinion should exist  commands like:
> recordnew(table)
> recordread(id, table)
> recordwrite(id, table)
> recorddelete(id, table)
> recordprev(currentrecord, table)
> recordnext(currentrecord, table)
>
> This is the minimum what I expect from a program language in the year 2015.
>

This post is 0% constructive, but i have to reply nevertheless.

PHP is a programming language, ADO.NET is a framework on top of C#/VB. If
you would use a *library* with PHP, such as Doctrine DBAL (which i have
helped build), then you have most of these functions.

Please go over to https://packagist.org and look at all the libraries you
can use before complaining about missing functionality in PHP.


>
> This should include already the ajax handling and all the other actions
> that are needed to get or view or write the data.
>
> It should also be included table locking and record locking, if needed.
>
> And special  commands for reading multiple records for paginations.
> And also for a easy  way to edit a record in this paginations set (page,
> count) and write this  back to the MySQL database or whatever database is
> used.
>

Again, use a framework instead of raw PHP.

>
> .. . .
>
> You are so focused to make PHP better and better that you just forgot to
> upgrade the basic commands.
>
> A programmer in the year 2015 should not need to  fetch records and do this
> with program code line by line. This was in the year 1982 the case
> .. . .
>
> It reminds me on hotels which always renovate the lobby but never the rooms
> for the guests.
>
> .. . .
>
> I am  sorry  to be so critical,  but this was cooking me since long time.
>
> I am database programmer  for international police organizations.
>
> Please keep my name confident.
>
FYI, This is a public mailing list, this e-mail is now publicly available
over the whole internet because of all the mirrors.

>
>
> > […]

---

## #88941 — Michael Kliewe — 2015-10-26T11:43:07+00:00

URL: https://externals.io/message/88937#88941 · In reply to: #88937

Hi Frank,


> Hi to all of you,
>
> first I want to apologize for may bad English,
>
No problem, it's good enough to understand you.
> I write because I feel that that the way how you see your own product PHP
> is totally wrong. I do not mean with it that the construction of the
> language is wrong.
>
> Your basic aproach is wrong.
>
> PHP is a server side programming language. That means that the most work
> what PHP have to do is to be the boss of the data servers and handle the
> data.
>
> Create database or tables  or records,  edit,  delete and read and write
> them.
Which database do you mean? MySQL, MSSQL, CouchDB, Redis....
> And where is your fantastic programming language so incredible lousy that
> me, I am since 35 years a database programmer, just shake my head???
>
> Exact in this operations!!!
>
> I know that it is for free and I can not tell you how much I value your
> work on it, but  all of you, WAKE UP!!!!
>
> You sent the handling of records from modern handling via recordsets back
> to computer stone age. It is a  torture to use PHP without tools (and they
> are lousy too) for database operations.
>
>
> I can give you a example:
>
> It is in PHP a lot of work to just read the next record in a table.
>
> With ADO is it just nextrecord().
With PDO it's
$result = $sth->fetch();

http://php.net/manual/de/pdostatement.fetch.php

I don't see that much of a difference... And PDO is built-in.
> The PHP  way is a insult to the modern world of programming.
>
> Maybe you should consider to write internal  functions for the record
> handling which do take all the sql waste of time away  from the programmer
> and create just short command words that the developer can use them.
>
> This would be a "small step  for you but a  huge leap for mankind!".
>
> And you would finally win the race  in the language battle.
>
> I am sorry that I write it so harsh, but PHP is for me the definition of
> server data handling and exact there you fail in a big way.
>
> All the programmers around the world reinvent every time the wheel new?
>
> Have this really to be?
>
> In my opinion should exist  commands like:
> recordnew(table)
> recordread(id, table)
> recordwrite(id, table)
> recorddelete(id, table)
> recordprev(currentrecord, table)
> recordnext(currentrecord, table)
>
> This is the minimum what I expect from a program language in the year 2015.
Maybe you should have a look at PDO:
http://php.net/manual/de/book.pdo.php

Or other database abstraction layers out there, there are plenty. Search
at packagist.org for example.
Just to name a few that I heard of, but don't use myself: Doctrine,
Propel, RedBeanPHP
> I am database programmer  for international police organizations.
>
> Please keep my name confident.
>
You are writing to a public mailing list, what do you expect?

Michael

---

## #88943 — Joe Watkins — 2015-10-26T12:26:35+00:00

URL: https://externals.io/message/88937#88943 · In reply to: #88941

This brightened up my Monday morning.

Cheers
Joe



> Hi Frank,
>
> 
> > […]
> No problem, it's good enough to understand you.
> > […]
> Which database do you mean? MySQL, MSSQL, CouchDB, Redis....
> > […]
> they
> > […]
> With PDO it's
> $result = $sth->fetch();
>
> http://php.net/manual/de/pdostatement.fetch.php
>
> I don't see that much of a difference... And PDO is built-in.
> > […]
> programmer
> > […]
> 2015.
> Maybe you should have a look at PDO:
> http://php.net/manual/de/book.pdo.php
>
> Or other database abstraction layers out there, there are plenty. Search
> at packagist.org for example.
> Just to name a few that I heard of, but don't use myself: Doctrine,
> Propel, RedBeanPHP
> > […]
> You are writing to a public mailing list, what do you expect?
>
> Michael

---

## #88945 — guilhermeblanco@gmail.com — 2015-10-26T14:12:47+00:00

URL: https://externals.io/message/88937#88945 · In reply to: #88943

Finally someone understood precisely what PHP needs to evolve as a language
for the next 35 years! #not



> This brightened up my Monday morning.
>
> Cheers
> Joe
>
> On Mon, Oct 26, 2015 at 11:43 AM, Michael Kliewe <info@phpgangsta.de>
> wrote:
>
> > […]
> PHP
> > […]
> work
> > […]
> the
> > […]
> write
> > […]
> that
> > […]
> back
> > […]
> of
> > […]
>



-- 
Guilherme Blanco
MSN: guilhermeblanco@hotmail.com
GTalk: guilhermeblanco
Toronto - ON/Canada

---

## #88947 — Julien Pauli — 2015-10-26T16:53:50+00:00

URL: https://externals.io/message/88937#88947 · In reply to: #88943

> This brightened up my Monday morning.

Yep, for me too ;-)

Julien.P

---

## #88948 — Julien Pauli — 2015-10-26T16:57:29+00:00

URL: https://externals.io/message/88937#88948 · In reply to: #88940

> 
>
> > […]
>
> This post is 0% constructive, but i have to reply nevertheless.
>
> PHP is a programming language, ADO.NET is a framework on top of C#/VB. If
> you would use a *library* with PHP, such as Doctrine DBAL (which i have
> helped build), then you have most of these functions.
>
> Please go over to https://packagist.org and look at all the libraries you
> can use before complaining about missing functionality in PHP.

So yes, as an answer, I would point the author with this statement as well :

PHP is a web "low level" (somehow) programming language, on top of
which you build libraries that ease and do
the complex repetitive job for you.

Nowadays, approaching 2016, many of such libraries exist, and many of
them are of very high professional quality.


Julien.Pauli

---

## #88951 — Tony Marston — 2015-10-27T09:04:19+00:00

URL: https://externals.io/message/88937#88951 · In reply to: #88937

"Frank Meier"  wrote in message 
news:CAHiKGHjz9XKv3Lsj5gsqM-gfP_xtkVYTPicjWFn_pBsG0pq9dg@mail.gmail.com...
>
>Hi to all of you,
>
>first I want to apologize for may bad English,
>
>.. . .
>
>
>I write because I feel that that the way how you see your own product PHP
>is totally wrong. I do not mean with it that the construction of the
>language is wrong.
>
>Your basic aproach is wrong.
>
>PHP is a server side programming language. That means that the most work
>what PHP have to do is to be the boss of the data servers and handle the
>data.
>
>Create database or tables  or records,  edit,  delete and read and write
>them.
>
>And where is your fantastic programming language so incredible lousy that
>me, I am since 35 years a database programmer, just shake my head???
>
>Exact in this operations!!!
>
>I know that it is for free and I can not tell you how much I value your
>work on it, but  all of you, WAKE UP!!!!
>
>You sent the handling of records from modern handling via recordsets back
>to computer stone age. It is a  torture to use PHP without tools (and they
>are lousy too) for database operations.
>
>
>I can give you a example:
>
>It is in PHP a lot of work to just read the next record in a table.
>
>With ADO is it just nextrecord().
>
>The PHP  way is a insult to the modern world of programming.
>
>Maybe you should consider to write internal  functions for the record
>handling which do take all the sql waste of time away  from the programmer
>and create just short command words that the developer can use them.
>
>This would be a "small step  for you but a  huge leap for mankind!".
>
>And you would finally win the race  in the language battle.
>
>I am sorry that I write it so harsh, but PHP is for me the definition of
>server data handling and exact there you fail in a big way.
>
>All the programmers around the world reinvent every time the wheel new?
>
>Have this really to be?
>
>In my opinion should exist  commands like:
>recordnew(table)
>recordread(id, table)
>recordwrite(id, table)
>recorddelete(id, table)
>recordprev(currentrecord, table)
>recordnext(currentrecord, table)
>
>This is the minimum what I expect from a program language in the year 2015.
>
>This should include already the ajax handling and all the other actions
>that are needed to get or view or write the data.
>
>It should also be included table locking and record locking, if needed.
>
>And special  commands for reading multiple records for paginations.
>And also for a easy  way to edit a record in this paginations set (page,
>count) and write this  back to the MySQL database or whatever database is
>used.
>
>.. . .
>
>You are so focused to make PHP better and better that you just forgot to
>upgrade the basic commands.
>
>A programmer in the year 2015 should not need to  fetch records and do this
>with program code line by line. This was in the year 1982 the case
>.. . .
>
>It reminds me on hotels which always renovate the lobby but never the rooms
>for the guests.
>
>.. . .
>
>I am  sorry  to be so critical,  but this was cooking me since long time.
>
>I am database programmer  for international police organizations.
>
>Please keep my name confident.
>
>
> > […]

Just because you personally struggle to understand how PHP works and 
therefore find it difficult to write effective programs merely reflects on 
YOUR lack of ability, not any shortcomings in the language. FYI information 
I have been designing and building database-based enterprise applications 
for 30+ years using a variety of different languages, and I have found PHP 
to be the best language of the lot simply because I can produce programs at 
a much faster rate and with more features than with all my previous 
languages. I have written frameworks in three different languages - COBOL, 
UNIFACE and PHP - in order to boost my productivity, and my PHP framework is 
by far the most productive of the lot.

If you don't like the language then stop using it. I personally don't like 
Java, I don't like Javascript, I don't like Ruby, I don't like Perl, I don't 
like .NET, I don't like .... , but do you see me writing pathetic posts 
about them? Millions of programmers have written volumes of effective 
software using those languages, just as millions of programmers have written 
effective software using PHP.

My advice to you is shut up, grow up and get real.

-- 
Tony Marston

---

## #88952 — Josh Di Fabio — 2015-10-27T09:10:46+00:00

URL: https://externals.io/message/88937#88952 · In reply to: #88951

There have been some good points made here but I think everything
which needs to be said has been said.

---

## #88956 — Stephen Coakley — 2015-10-27T15:17:15+00:00

URL: https://externals.io/message/88937#88956 · In reply to: #88937

> Hi to all of you,
>
> first I want to apologize for may bad English,
>
> .. . .
>
>
> I write because I feel that that the way how you see your own product PHP
> is totally wrong. I do not mean with it that the construction of the
> language is wrong.

Ah, OK. So you're the expert then. PHP is open-source; maybe you'd like 
to contribute to make it better?

> Your basic aproach is wrong.
>
> PHP is a server side programming language. That means that the most work
> what PHP have to do is to be the boss of the data servers and handle the
> data.

I mean, that's the primary environment PHP is used in, but it can be 
used for anything really. Straight from the PHP.net homepage:

 > "PHP is a popular general-purpose scripting language that is 
especially suited to web development."

> Create database or tables  or records,  edit,  delete and read and write
> them.
>
> And where is your fantastic programming language so incredible lousy that
> me, I am since 35 years a database programmer, just shake my head???
>
> Exact in this operations!!!
>
> I know that it is for free and I can not tell you how much I value your
> work on it, but  all of you, WAKE UP!!!!

Your tone of voice is a little comically inappropriate, and it doesn't 
sound like you value our work. :)

> You sent the handling of records from modern handling via recordsets back
> to computer stone age. It is a  torture to use PHP without tools (and they
> are lousy too) for database operations.

As already mentioned, try PDO (http://php.net/manual/en/book.pdo.php) -- 
its built-in and is just as easy to use as ADO.

If you want to actually use ADO in PHP, you can do that too with COM 
(http://php.net/manual/en/class.com.php). I'd recommend PDO though; its 
efficient and easy to use.

> I can give you a example:
>
> It is in PHP a lot of work to just read the next record in a table.
>
> With ADO is it just nextrecord().
>
> The PHP  way is a insult to the modern world of programming.

Uh, wait. Where's the PHP example that is "a insult to the modern world 
of programming"? You didn't actually give an example for PHP...

Let me help you out.

ADO (note I could be doing this wrong...):
     SqlCommand query = new SqlCommand("SELECT * FROM Foo", dbConnection);
     dbConnection.Open();
     SqlDataReader reader = query.ExecuteReader();

     if (reader.HasRows)
     {
         while (reader.Read())
         {
             Console.WriteLine("{0}", reader.GetString(0));
         }
     }
     else
     {
         Console.WriteLine("No rows found.");
     }
     reader.Close();

PDO:
     $statement = $dbConnection->query("SELECT * FROM Foo");

     if ($statement->rowCount() > 0) {
         while ($row = $statement->fetch()) {
             print $row[0] . "\n";
         }
     } else {
         print "No rows found.\n";
     }

> Maybe you should consider to write internal  functions for the record
> handling which do take all the sql waste of time away  from the programmer
> and create just short command words that the developer can use them.
>
> This would be a "small step  for you but a  huge leap for mankind!".
>
> And you would finally win the race  in the language battle.

Not to brag, but we already did. Some of the biggest websites like 
Wikipedia, use PHP.

> I am sorry that I write it so harsh, but PHP is for me the definition of
> server data handling and exact there you fail in a big way.

I'm not sure what your evidence is for that, but thanks for the laughs.

> All the programmers around the world reinvent every time the wheel new?
>
> Have this really to be?
>
> In my opinion should exist  commands like:
> recordnew(table)
> recordread(id, table)
> recordwrite(id, table)
> recorddelete(id, table)
> recordprev(currentrecord, table)
> recordnext(currentrecord, table)
>
> This is the minimum what I expect from a program language in the year 2015.

No object-oriented programming, iterators, or abstraction, in the year 
2015? Interesting opinion.

> This should include already the ajax handling and all the other actions
> that are needed to get or view or write the data.

AJAX handling is totally irrelevant here. Not sure what it has to do 
with DB access,

> It should also be included table locking and record locking, if needed.
>
> And special  commands for reading multiple records for paginations.
> And also for a easy  way to edit a record in this paginations set (page,
> count) and write this  back to the MySQL database or whatever database is
> used.
>
> .. . .
>
> You are so focused to make PHP better and better that you just forgot to
> upgrade the basic commands.
>
> A programmer in the year 2015 should not need to  fetch records and do this
> with program code line by line. This was in the year 1982 the case

Is the program just supposed to "guess" how you want to handle the data? 
That's not programming...

> .. . .
>
> It reminds me on hotels which always renovate the lobby but never the rooms
> for the guests.
>
> .. . .
>
> I am  sorry  to be so critical,  but this was cooking me since long time.
>
> I am database programmer  for international police organizations.
>
> Please keep my name confident.
>
>
> > […]
>

Also, you posted your name on this public mailing list so it is no 
longer confidential: http://news.php.net/php.internals/88937. We keep 
all communication here public for reference and integrity.

Thanks for your complaints. It brightened my day. Good luck with 
programming! Feel free to ask for some help in ##php on Freenode IRC or 
in the php.general mailing list. :)

-- 
Stephen

---

## #88958 — Peter Prochaska — 2015-10-28T06:00:00+00:00

URL: https://externals.io/message/88937#88958 · In reply to: #88956

Hi Frank,

the basic idea of PHP was to create a powerfull and easy to use Language, not only for data handling.
Data handlng is one of many facets of PHP.

One developer uses PHP for data handling, the other for rendering HTML templates.
One uses it for creating a webservice, the other for doing complex calculations.

If you want a easy data handling, use PDO (how Stephen sad) or use Symfony2 or ZF2, aka a framework, for easy data handling.

Regards

Peter Prochaska




Am 27.10.2015 um 16:17 schrieb Stephen Coakley <me@stephencoakley.com>:

> 
> > […]
> 
> Ah, OK. So you're the expert then. PHP is open-source; maybe you'd like to contribute to make it better?
> 
> > […]
> 
> I mean, that's the primary environment PHP is used in, but it can be used for anything really. Straight from the PHP.net homepage:
> 
> > […]
> 
> > […]
> 
> Your tone of voice is a little comically inappropriate, and it doesn't sound like you value our work. :)
> 
> > […]
> 
> As already mentioned, try PDO (http://php.net/manual/en/book.pdo.php) -- its built-in and is just as easy to use as ADO.
> 
> If you want to actually use ADO in PHP, you can do that too with COM (http://php.net/manual/en/class.com.php). I'd recommend PDO though; its efficient and easy to use.
> 
> > […]
> 
> Uh, wait. Where's the PHP example that is "a insult to the modern world of programming"? You didn't actually give an example for PHP...
> 
> Let me help you out.
> 
> ADO (note I could be doing this wrong...):
>    SqlCommand query = new SqlCommand("SELECT * FROM Foo", dbConnection);
>    dbConnection.Open();
>    SqlDataReader reader = query.ExecuteReader();
> 
>    if (reader.HasRows)
>    {
>        while (reader.Read())
>        {
>            Console.WriteLine("{0}", reader.GetString(0));
>        }
>    }
>    else
>    {
>        Console.WriteLine("No rows found.");
>    }
>    reader.Close();
> 
> PDO:
>    $statement = $dbConnection->query("SELECT * FROM Foo");
> 
>    if ($statement->rowCount() > 0) {
>        while ($row = $statement->fetch()) {
>            print $row[0] . "\n";
>        }
>    } else {
>        print "No rows found.\n";
>    }
> 
> > […]
> 
> Not to brag, but we already did. Some of the biggest websites like Wikipedia, use PHP.
> 
> > […]
> 
> I'm not sure what your evidence is for that, but thanks for the laughs.
> 
> > […]
> 
> No object-oriented programming, iterators, or abstraction, in the year 2015? Interesting opinion.
> 
> > […]
> 
> AJAX handling is totally irrelevant here. Not sure what it has to do with DB access,
> 
> > […]
> 
> Is the program just supposed to "guess" how you want to handle the data? That's not programming...
> 
> > […]
> 
> Also, you posted your name on this public mailing list so it is no longer confidential: http://news.php.net/php.internals/88937. We keep all communication here public for reference and integrity.
> 
> Thanks for your complaints. It brightened my day. Good luck with programming! Feel free to ask for some help in ##php on Freenode IRC or in the php.general mailing list. :)
> 
> -- 
> Stephen