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Date: Tue, 20 Mar 2012 18:43:58 -0700
Message-ID: <CAKOpQSwD7WgDtf6Q6RwcSB9Z8nZTiR_WcKh3MDHB4RDtKZx6yQ@mail.gmail.com>
To: Arpad Ray <arraypad@gmail.com>
Cc: "internals@lists.php.net" <internals@lists.php.net>, Ferenc Kovacs <tyra3l@gmail.com>, 
	Stas Malyshev <smalyshev@sugarcrm.com>
Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary=20cf307f353ecff8bb04bbb6ec10
Subject: Re: [PHP-DEV] Github Pull Request
From: kris.craig@gmail.com (Kris Craig)

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Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

Arpad,

On Tue, Mar 20, 2012 at 6:23 PM, Arpad Ray <arraypad@gmail.com> wrote:

> Hi Kris,
>
> On 20 Mar 2012 23:29, "Kris Craig" <kris.craig@gmail.com> wrote:
> >
> > On Tue, Mar 20, 2012 at 4:08 PM, Ferenc Kovacs <tyra3l@gmail.com> wrote:
> > >
> > >> But just because you and a few other stuffed shirts don't understand
> the
> > >> value of dissenting viewpoints,
> > >
> > >
> > > that's so nice of you
> > >
> >
> > You're welcome.
> >
>
> Your tone and argumentative style in recent posts is really not helpful to
> your cause.
>
> Please try to keep discussions on this list civil and technical.
>
> Often emotion and other biases do appear. It's much better to ignore them
> and keep focused on the true issues, than to address them - no matter how
> calmly worded or light-hearted your response may be.
>
> I.E. Let's have a technical debate not a pissing contest ;)
>
> Regards,
>
> Arpad
>
You're absolutely right.  Generally speaking, when somebody delivers a
witlessly sarcastic remark like, "that's so nice of you," or, "thank you
for being a dick," my default reply is, "You're welcome."  It falls under
the principle of beating them at their own game; fighting fire with fire,
as it were.

But you're correct in that I need to be careful not to allow my zeal for
putting bullies in their place go too far and start annoying people who
don't actually deserve to be annoyed.  It's a delicate balance and letting
emotion into the equation really doesn't help.  I'll try to be more mindful
of that.


He definitely had that, "you're welcome," response coming to him after his
sardonic little jab, but that alone doesn't mean it was necessary.  I allow
myself to be a bit hypersensitive when I perceive an environment where
people with dissenting views are being bullied into silence, which I
believe for some time now has been the case on this list.  I.e. I hit back
to set an example and level the playing field a little.  But even so,
sometimes I get a bit carried away.  I probably could have safely ignored
some of Ferenc's juvenile remarks while still sufficiently pushing back
against this latest anti-dissent gangbang.

Thanks for the reminder!  If it ever looks like I'm getting carried away
while standing up to these guys, please don't be afraid to let me know.  =)

--Kris

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